Cheeto's first trip to the beach wasn't exactly smooth sailing.

The Ocean: Oh hai!
Cheeto: GAAAAH! *rears up to escape a teeny wave, trips, and faceplants it in the sand*



Boyfriend: I spilled Cheeto's whole bag of food.
Me: Yikes. How much of it did she eat before you shooed her away?
Boyfriend: Not that much. I guess I have to go to the store.
Me: You're throwing it out?
Boyfriend: Yeah.
Me: It's not like she doesn't normally eat stuff off of the floor.
Boyfriend: You think it's okay to put it back in the bag?
Me: She licks sidewalks. So, yes.


Awkwardness Revisited

So, this one time, in middle school...

I went to a school dance at my friend's school and this guy asked me to slow dance and I was surprised so I was like, "who me?" then I felt stupid so I blushed and then my friend's boyfriend's friend asked me to dance later and I was like, "okay whatever" so then my friend apparently gave her boyfriend's friend my phone number so he called me and I made sure to tell him we were just friends so then he called me a few more times to talk and stuff but then later he faxed his friend to tell him to call me and let me know that he couldn't call me because his parents were mad about the long distance calls and then I was like "why are you calling me" and so I had my friend call his friend to tell him that we weren't dating and he shouldn't call me any more so then his friend told him and then his friend called my friend again but he was totally obviously listening in on the call so my friend three-way called me and his friend was like, "why did you break up with him?" and I was like "WE WERE NEVER DATING!"

The end.