May 30, 2009
Dined at fancy, schmancy crowded restaurant. Thought swanky booth was longer than it actually was. Landed hard on pride and bruised my ego, among other things. Still sore.
June 7, 2009
Punched self in boob.
June 7, 2009
Diligently hopped on exercise bike in a futile attempt at weight loss. Pedaled backwards to accommodate sore muscles. Foot slipped out of pedal, pedal collided with shin. Purple-y-black bruise appeared.
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
6.08.2009
4.13.2009
You lie.
I'm tired of the happy people on TV and in magazines who are thrilled about having lost a ton of weight. They talk about how good they feel, how fantastic an active lifestyle is, etc.. Ditto to the health experts that talk about exercise and endorphins.
My bullcrapometer goes wild when I encounter them.
You wanna know how working out everyday makes me feel? Like poo. Working out makes me tired, sore and more than slightly cranky.
It's not so bad when it's accidental exercise - like a day at the beach, battling the surf and running around in the sand with friends. But when I hop on a bike or a treadmill, I always end up wondering if it's really worth it.
If you can't tell, I've been working out like mad for the last couple of weeks. Ibuprophen has become part of my daily routine. Of course, the scale hasn't moved ...
Sigh.
My bullcrapometer goes wild when I encounter them.
You wanna know how working out everyday makes me feel? Like poo. Working out makes me tired, sore and more than slightly cranky.
It's not so bad when it's accidental exercise - like a day at the beach, battling the surf and running around in the sand with friends. But when I hop on a bike or a treadmill, I always end up wondering if it's really worth it.
If you can't tell, I've been working out like mad for the last couple of weeks. Ibuprophen has become part of my daily routine. Of course, the scale hasn't moved ...
Sigh.
6.19.2008
Things that suck about working in an office environment #21,004.
When making a beeline for the bathroom, after holding it in for hours in order to get several "urgent" tasks done, it is inevitable that someone will intercept you in the hall for one of two reasons: a) to send you back to your office to do another "urgent" task while your bladder slowly screams and you consider the social implications of wetting your chair or b) they want to talk to you about the cute things their baby has done since they were an egg waiting to be fertilized.
I do have an empty mug here.
Hmmm....
How awkward would that be? For my coworkers to come in? I'd be branded with a yellow letter, P. I don't know if I want to be that guy. Or gal, rather.
I do have an empty mug here.
Hmmm....
How awkward would that be? For my coworkers to come in? I'd be branded with a yellow letter, P. I don't know if I want to be that guy. Or gal, rather.
3.24.2008
Eff-U Venus Razor Stupid-Head
I'm really tired of looking at the Venus Women's razor ads on my tv. Not that I normally harbor grudges against women's beauty products, but I really can't stand the things. All womens' razors, actually. I admit, I am completely guilty of stealing my boyfriend's razor. Over and over again. However, I will never touch his shaving cream.
It all started when I decided to stop using the disposable women's razors in favor of something a little nicer, thinking that the move would be an upgrade. I bought into the advertising of Gillette's Venus razor and picked one up at my local Target. It was supposed to simultaneously hug my curves for a close shave and protect them from nicks and cuts - awesome. I get home and test it out in the shower on my legs...not bad. I felt a little too much cold metal and a little drag around my knees to make me comfortable, but it wasn't awful. Then I went for the armpits. Suddenly I'm bleeding and there's stinging and yelping and hopping around in an attempt to rinse off conditioner and shaving cream fast enough to keep from bleeding to death in the shower. I briefly reflect on the Psycho-like trail of blood flowing into the drain, get out , drip water all over the floor (which I HATE) and run to the mirror. I lift up my arm and the water has smeared the blood all over my inner arm and along my side. I I grab some toilet paper to wipe off the blood and get a look at the wound - the stupid Venus gave me a 5-inch gash. In my armpit.
That was it for me and the Venus. Maybe I didn't give it enough of a chance, but after a week and a half of being unable to wear deodorant under my left arm, I was angry AND stinky and hairy. Well, on one side at least.
That same week I sneakily tried out my boyfriend's razor. Sweet, merciful heaven, it was perfect. No nicks, no cuts, close shave, and it looked all chrome-y and awesome.
I bring this up because I recently discovered that, even though men's razors seem to be far superior to women's, their shaving cream is horrible. I had noticed all the pain my boyfriend went through when he shaved - it didn't make sense to me, because his razor was ever so nice. Then, when I ran out of my own Skintimate shave gel, I reached for his stuff and was horrified. My previous razor no longer managed to glide effortlessly over my skin, NAY, it began to drag and catch.
I made him try my shaving cream a few weeks ago, and you know what? He loves it. Sure, he smells like lavender, but cologne and aftershave can cover that up. Plus his face is as smooth as a baby's poopy end.
It all started when I decided to stop using the disposable women's razors in favor of something a little nicer, thinking that the move would be an upgrade. I bought into the advertising of Gillette's Venus razor and picked one up at my local Target. It was supposed to simultaneously hug my curves for a close shave and protect them from nicks and cuts - awesome. I get home and test it out in the shower on my legs...not bad. I felt a little too much cold metal and a little drag around my knees to make me comfortable, but it wasn't awful. Then I went for the armpits. Suddenly I'm bleeding and there's stinging and yelping and hopping around in an attempt to rinse off conditioner and shaving cream fast enough to keep from bleeding to death in the shower. I briefly reflect on the Psycho-like trail of blood flowing into the drain, get out , drip water all over the floor (which I HATE) and run to the mirror. I lift up my arm and the water has smeared the blood all over my inner arm and along my side. I I grab some toilet paper to wipe off the blood and get a look at the wound - the stupid Venus gave me a 5-inch gash. In my armpit.
That was it for me and the Venus. Maybe I didn't give it enough of a chance, but after a week and a half of being unable to wear deodorant under my left arm, I was angry AND stinky and hairy. Well, on one side at least.
That same week I sneakily tried out my boyfriend's razor. Sweet, merciful heaven, it was perfect. No nicks, no cuts, close shave, and it looked all chrome-y and awesome.
I bring this up because I recently discovered that, even though men's razors seem to be far superior to women's, their shaving cream is horrible. I had noticed all the pain my boyfriend went through when he shaved - it didn't make sense to me, because his razor was ever so nice. Then, when I ran out of my own Skintimate shave gel, I reached for his stuff and was horrified. My previous razor no longer managed to glide effortlessly over my skin, NAY, it began to drag and catch.
I made him try my shaving cream a few weeks ago, and you know what? He loves it. Sure, he smells like lavender, but cologne and aftershave can cover that up. Plus his face is as smooth as a baby's poopy end.
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